Buff
12-09-2003, 10:03 PM
Fort Worth resident Chante Mallard was convicted in June of murder
and sentenced to 50 years in prison for her role in the death of Gregory Biggs,
a homeless man who she struck with her car and then stowed in her garage with
the victim stuck headfirst through her windshield. According to police reports,
Mallard returned to the garage periodically to apologize to Biggs,
but never summoned emergency help.
2:17 a.m.
MALLARD: Mr. Biggs, is you still in here?
BIGGS: Oh, god.
MALLARD: I’m sorry I left you out here but I had to get them shoes off, honey.
They about squeeze my shrimps to death but, damn, they make Chante legs look
good.
BIGGS: Please, I’m…
MALLARD: Well, hell, you know, you were staring at em half the way home. Yo
head all bobbing. Damn, you come busting through that windshield like some
nappy-headed air bag, Chante almost wet herself.
BIGGS: Arrrr…
MALLARD: I brought you some Triscuits with some of that squeezy cheese. Did
you be wanting some refreshments?
BIGGS: Oh…
MALLARD: No? Oh, I love me some Triscuits now. Chante gonna get her snack on.
You know what I love about Triscuits?
BIGGS: Uhhh…
MALLARD: They three time better than biscuits. Count it out now. A biscuit
just two, but a Triscuit be three time good. Now if somebody come up with a
Quadriscuit, Chante gonna give her heart to Jesus.
BIGGS: I can’t brea…
MALLARD: Now if they can get chicken in a biscuit, how come they can’t…oh
hell, there the phone. I’ll be right back, baby. Did you need anything?
2:28 a.m.
MALLARD: Oh, you ain’t gonna believe this, honey. Okay, so that’s Jamal on
the phone. You ain’t met Jamal yet, but you will. And he all in my face saying
Chamiqua call him and say she seen me driving home from the club with a man in
my car. Right?
BIGGS: Ooooh….
MALLARD: And he sayin horrible ugly things. Going off, I’m a skanky whore
this and a lying bitch that and everything and I just let him go right on talkin,
making a fool of hisself. You know?
BIGGS: Oh, God.
MALLARD: And I say, Mmm hmmm, did she happen to mention that man sticking
through my windshield? No, I knew the whore wouldn’t tell him that cause she all
over Jamal. That’s how she is.
BIGGS: Please…
MALLARD: And Jamal all, is there a man over at your house or not, girl? Yes
or no? And I say, you know what, you don’t take that tone with me. Okay? Cause
I had a really bad night, Jamal.
BIGGS: I can’t…
MALLARD: And he all, you think you had a bad night? I gotta hear you’re out
whoring around. And I say, okay, but do you gotta dead man sticking through a
windshield you just paid 200 dollar to get tinted? You got that? Is that a bad
enough night for yo whiny ass?
BIGGS: Please, God.
MALLARD: Um hmm, that shut his ass up all right. And then he all sorry and
his voice get all low like he gonna come over and get him some. Baby, I’m sorry
and baby, you know I love you. And I ain’t having none of that.
BIGGS: My leg…
MALLARD: And then he all, what do you say we go see Training Day tomorrow
night, cause he know I love me some Denzel. Mmmm, first time I laid eyes on
Denzel, I told my girl LaTrina, I said, girl, I’m just gonna leave my pussy at will
call for Denzel and he can pick it up anytime he want.
BIGGS: Owww…
MALLARD: I may loan it out, but it belong to Denzel. You know what I’m sayin?
That’s my little joke with Jamal. I always tell him, you may not live in
Denzel’s house, and you may not ride in his car, but you damn sure ridin in his
pussy.
BIGGS: Could you please…
MALLARD: So, anyway, he coming over later. When you see him, don’t mention
that thing over his eye, now. He got some sort of Aaron Neville-looking thing
bout to pop out of his forehead. It’s all I can do to look at it, but don’t you
be staring at it. Not if you don’t want an ass-kicking.
3:04 a.m.
MALLARD: I better not hear that radio playing in there, Mr. Biggs. What did I
say about you fiddling with them knobs?
BIGGS: Help…
MALLARD: Don’t be lying about it. They ain’t no Bon Jovi on KZAP. Now I
gotta reprogram all the goddamn buttons. But you given me an idea. Can you reach
the horn from there?
BIGGS: Ahhh…
MALLARD: There you go. All right, I want you sit here and listen for “Sexy
Daddy” by Destiny’s Child. That’s the instant money song. When you hear it,
honk the horn, and I’m gonna be the 93rd caller and get me about a thousand
dollars, which is gonna be about 400 dollars after I fix all the damage yo ass did.
You gonna make yourself useful for a change.
BIGGS: Oooohh…
MALLARD: Okay, when you hear Beyonce, you be honking that horn, you hear me?
3:23 a.m.
MALLARD: You better stop that honking, motherfucker. Now you making my ass
mad.
BIGGS: Aaaah…
MALLARD: You better hope they playing Destiny Child four time a minute or
somebody’s eaten his last Triscuit. I hear you honking and I be all speed-dialing
and counting my Chante money. But I don’t get my first busy signal when I
hear you honking again.
BIGGS: Please…
MALLARD: Please, my ass. Dialing like a fool in there when all you doing is
making noise. You oughta be ashamed, playin me like that. And after all I done
for you.
and sentenced to 50 years in prison for her role in the death of Gregory Biggs,
a homeless man who she struck with her car and then stowed in her garage with
the victim stuck headfirst through her windshield. According to police reports,
Mallard returned to the garage periodically to apologize to Biggs,
but never summoned emergency help.
2:17 a.m.
MALLARD: Mr. Biggs, is you still in here?
BIGGS: Oh, god.
MALLARD: I’m sorry I left you out here but I had to get them shoes off, honey.
They about squeeze my shrimps to death but, damn, they make Chante legs look
good.
BIGGS: Please, I’m…
MALLARD: Well, hell, you know, you were staring at em half the way home. Yo
head all bobbing. Damn, you come busting through that windshield like some
nappy-headed air bag, Chante almost wet herself.
BIGGS: Arrrr…
MALLARD: I brought you some Triscuits with some of that squeezy cheese. Did
you be wanting some refreshments?
BIGGS: Oh…
MALLARD: No? Oh, I love me some Triscuits now. Chante gonna get her snack on.
You know what I love about Triscuits?
BIGGS: Uhhh…
MALLARD: They three time better than biscuits. Count it out now. A biscuit
just two, but a Triscuit be three time good. Now if somebody come up with a
Quadriscuit, Chante gonna give her heart to Jesus.
BIGGS: I can’t brea…
MALLARD: Now if they can get chicken in a biscuit, how come they can’t…oh
hell, there the phone. I’ll be right back, baby. Did you need anything?
2:28 a.m.
MALLARD: Oh, you ain’t gonna believe this, honey. Okay, so that’s Jamal on
the phone. You ain’t met Jamal yet, but you will. And he all in my face saying
Chamiqua call him and say she seen me driving home from the club with a man in
my car. Right?
BIGGS: Ooooh….
MALLARD: And he sayin horrible ugly things. Going off, I’m a skanky whore
this and a lying bitch that and everything and I just let him go right on talkin,
making a fool of hisself. You know?
BIGGS: Oh, God.
MALLARD: And I say, Mmm hmmm, did she happen to mention that man sticking
through my windshield? No, I knew the whore wouldn’t tell him that cause she all
over Jamal. That’s how she is.
BIGGS: Please…
MALLARD: And Jamal all, is there a man over at your house or not, girl? Yes
or no? And I say, you know what, you don’t take that tone with me. Okay? Cause
I had a really bad night, Jamal.
BIGGS: I can’t…
MALLARD: And he all, you think you had a bad night? I gotta hear you’re out
whoring around. And I say, okay, but do you gotta dead man sticking through a
windshield you just paid 200 dollar to get tinted? You got that? Is that a bad
enough night for yo whiny ass?
BIGGS: Please, God.
MALLARD: Um hmm, that shut his ass up all right. And then he all sorry and
his voice get all low like he gonna come over and get him some. Baby, I’m sorry
and baby, you know I love you. And I ain’t having none of that.
BIGGS: My leg…
MALLARD: And then he all, what do you say we go see Training Day tomorrow
night, cause he know I love me some Denzel. Mmmm, first time I laid eyes on
Denzel, I told my girl LaTrina, I said, girl, I’m just gonna leave my pussy at will
call for Denzel and he can pick it up anytime he want.
BIGGS: Owww…
MALLARD: I may loan it out, but it belong to Denzel. You know what I’m sayin?
That’s my little joke with Jamal. I always tell him, you may not live in
Denzel’s house, and you may not ride in his car, but you damn sure ridin in his
pussy.
BIGGS: Could you please…
MALLARD: So, anyway, he coming over later. When you see him, don’t mention
that thing over his eye, now. He got some sort of Aaron Neville-looking thing
bout to pop out of his forehead. It’s all I can do to look at it, but don’t you
be staring at it. Not if you don’t want an ass-kicking.
3:04 a.m.
MALLARD: I better not hear that radio playing in there, Mr. Biggs. What did I
say about you fiddling with them knobs?
BIGGS: Help…
MALLARD: Don’t be lying about it. They ain’t no Bon Jovi on KZAP. Now I
gotta reprogram all the goddamn buttons. But you given me an idea. Can you reach
the horn from there?
BIGGS: Ahhh…
MALLARD: There you go. All right, I want you sit here and listen for “Sexy
Daddy” by Destiny’s Child. That’s the instant money song. When you hear it,
honk the horn, and I’m gonna be the 93rd caller and get me about a thousand
dollars, which is gonna be about 400 dollars after I fix all the damage yo ass did.
You gonna make yourself useful for a change.
BIGGS: Oooohh…
MALLARD: Okay, when you hear Beyonce, you be honking that horn, you hear me?
3:23 a.m.
MALLARD: You better stop that honking, motherfucker. Now you making my ass
mad.
BIGGS: Aaaah…
MALLARD: You better hope they playing Destiny Child four time a minute or
somebody’s eaten his last Triscuit. I hear you honking and I be all speed-dialing
and counting my Chante money. But I don’t get my first busy signal when I
hear you honking again.
BIGGS: Please…
MALLARD: Please, my ass. Dialing like a fool in there when all you doing is
making noise. You oughta be ashamed, playin me like that. And after all I done
for you.