I've heard some of these

[jimmyf]

THINGS ONLY A POLICE OFFICER WOULD SAY

Just how big were those two beers?

Your life is not my fault.

The handcuffs are tight because they are new. They will stretch out
after you wear them awhile.

If you take your hands off the car, I will make your birth certificate a
worthless document.

If you run, you will only go to jail tired.

Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

So, you do not know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on your ticket, huh?

Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I do not think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM the shift supervisor?

Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I am warning you not to do that
again or I will give you ANOTHER ticket.

The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

Fair?! You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey- poop.

No Sir, we do not have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we are allowed to write as many tickets as we want.

I know, I know, your kid is an honor student at the juvenile detention
center.

I am glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a good friend of yours. At
least you know someone who can post your bail.

No, I do not think that they should use the electric chair; I think they
need to use electric BLEACHERS!

Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and I get the big screen
television.

[PornoDoggy]

Just how big were those two beers?


Coronado, California, September 19, 1983 ... :hic:

Just because I was doing 105 in my VW Beetle on the Silver Strand on the way to Imperial Beach. No sense of humor, them coppers ...

[Vick]

Originally posted by PornoDoggy@Nov 10 2003, 07:59 PM
Just how big were those two beers?


Coronado, California, September 19, 1983 ... :hic:

Just because I was doing 105 in my VW Beetle on the Silver Strand on the way to Imperial Beach. No sense of humor, them coppers ...
Damn PD, you could petal that fast? :P



good one jimmyf :okthumb:

[PornoDoggy]

I think it was burning alcohol that night. It's one of those "do not attempt this at home" stunts.

[Nickatilynx]

I think it was burning alcohol that night.

mmmmmm everclear.

One for the car , one for me
one for the car ,one , two for me

;-))))

[eatapeach]

cops are cool! :okthumb:

http://wistv.static.worldnow.com/images/1515796_BG2.jpg

[ulfie]

I got pulled over last week and just about every document in my car was expired. To top it off I had forgotten my liscense which I NEVER do. Cop went and sat in the car for about an hour, came back, and gave me a warning. He also gave me this nifty card that shows I have 15 days to get everything resolved to show to anyone else that pulls me over. That kind of stuff never happens to me just glad it did that night or I would have been looking at over $500 in fines easy.

[eatapeach]

Originally posted by ulfie@Nov 10 2003, 05:54 PM
I got pulled over last week and just about every document in my car was expired. To top it off I had forgotten my liscense which I NEVER do. Cop went and sat in the car for about an hour, came back, and gave me a warning. He also gave me this nifty card that shows I have 15 days to get everything resolved to show to anyone else that pulls me over. That kind of stuff never happens to me just glad it did that night or I would have been looking at over $500 in fines easy.
he probably saw the penguins sticker on the back of your car and felt you had suffered enough already. :biglaugh:

[ulfie]

Originally posted by eatapeach@Nov 10 2003, 09:14 PM
he probably saw the penguins sticker on the back of your car and felt you had suffered enough already. :biglaugh:
Even worse if it would have been a Pirate sticker. :D

[Julene]

My dad was a cop until he passed away.

His rule was no tickets unless they started smarting off at him.

:)