Moral Tempo & Changes Times

[Dianna Vesta]

Last night I was lying in my bed thinking about the last 5 years. Having been in bdsm & fetish since my 20’s, I used that as my example of changes times. It seems that the public has come to terms, if not accepting, but at least aware of sexual alternatives. Ten years ago had you of sported a tongue or nose piercing you would have received serious looks, perhaps even thrown out of some establishments. Fetishism has become widely accepted world wide. In fact it seems that the whole morality issue has changed, of at least through my perception.

My 17 year old niece and sister same for a visit and we somehow got on the subject of email and why she didn’t write me as much as she use to. She told me that she just got tired of deleting hundreds of adult spam. Out of curiosity I asked her if she ever opened any of it and what were her views about all the types of sex going on in the world. She laughed and said that it’s nothing she hasn’t heard about before. This prompted me to dig deeper. I asked her how kids in high school felt about sex in general. I asked my son this very question 5 years ago. He told me that sexual alternatives are very much a part of the teen scene or at least widely talked about. He said that he preferred dabbling with sexual alternatives, primarily role-play because it was more creative and they could easily incorporate safe sex. My niece told me that sex wasn’t talked about much. That teens seemed to be interested in it but that they just didn’t speak about it openly. She said that everyone was afraid to get pregnant or get AIDS. I then asked her about BDSM/Fetish and she said that it was around in certain groups but that she didn’t hang out in those groups.

This could be that she’s a girl and wasn’t directly exposed to sexual alternatives as my son was. I don’t really know the answer to that. Personally I do see a change in the moral attitudes of people just from my own personal interactions.

My point to all this is how it might be affecting the adult industry. Because sex isn’t quite a taboo people don’t need to hide as much or resort to commercial porn. Take a look at all the free sites or content that’s now available. Is this a sign of changes times? If so, how will it ultimately affect the industry? We’ve seen a huge jump in online dating and lifestyle communities.

Just rambling thoughts & curious what others think.

[susanna]

Some thoughts that came to my mind as I read your post is that my peers and I in the 4women marketing area are actually wanting to use porn for women to some common good. We are hoping that our efforts to make porn for women somehow educate women about sex and alternative sex (Ie. more then missionary and more then a "wifes" duty) We love "giving sexy ladies what they are looking for" but its more then that sometimes. We like the idea that we can somehow balance the idea that porn objectifies women... not by objectifying men back but by making a different kind of porn... one that is for couples, one that is for education, one that is for fun. With my couples sex site I started 3 years ago... my goal was to have couples come in and find something there to enhance their relationships... education, fun, just horny pictures... I loved the thought of two people sitting behind the monitor cruising my women friendly site and both getting so horny they were humping on the floor.

ON your point about how free and ready porn is therefore demystifying it and making it less of an impulse purchase that is done for its naughtyness... I agree... I think that atleast the young people do not have to buy into porn as a right of passage. Interestingly I think online porn might be more attractive to older people... I picture my mom aged 65 wondering enough about all the fuss to buy into porn.

Re fetish sex going mainstream... I think that people in general are more accepting of others... that goes from body enhancements to sexual preferences. Part of this comes from parents who are more educated and who realize tatoos and piercings do not hurt their kids... but that strict rules forbiding such activities seem too. We have had atleast 5 decades now of young people who make their way in one way or another... in each decade its slightly different then the last... and in each decade parents have hoped for their kids to stay away from drugs/alcohol/prostitution or any other "bad choices". So a tongue piercing or a fetish sex seems easy to handle.

Personally... fetishes to me should still remain out of the mainstream....ex. when every new youngster believes that BDSM plays a part in every relationship its no longer a fetish... its become a way of life. I dont think it will ever happen...

[Winetalk.com]

girls, talk to cj,
she is an expert in marketing porn to women....

[susanna]

LOL

ok serge...but this thread is not about marketing to women I just made that point.

Just so as ya know... I do know cj thanks :D

[gigi]

One thing I have noticed about 'teenagers' and sexuality is that it is definitely becoming more mainstream for girls to be 'bi'. I think the raves and 'ecstacy' definitely helped that along. ;)

But it is quite 'in' now to be a bisexual girl. (for guys I still don't see it being such an 'open' thing...) There are several online communities for bisexual women. (lesbian women too for that matter)

I always thought there was an online market for lesbian women.

Bisexual teenage girls. Just a fad? It seems that way right now, but once it has passed the fad stage, will it become 'mainstream' and viewed as a 'normal' part of sexuality?

It will be interesting to see down the line....

[Winetalk.com]

Originally posted by susanna@Jun 17 2003, 07:52 AM
LOL

ok serge...but this thread is not about marketing to women I just made that point.

Just so as ya know... I do know cj thanks :D
that what happenes when posts are too long and my attention span is too short
;-))

I only concentrate on IMPORTANT THINGS
;-))))

[JR]

i dont think people are changing or society is changing as much as information is changing. 10 years ago.... there was infinately less information available about everything. I dont think that for more people to be more aware of something means that it is more accepted or that moral climates have changed. it just loses its shock value with increased exposure.

[Mike AI]

Fads come and go... I think most little girls who claim to be "Bi" are doing it to be cool, to get attention, yadda yadda yadda....

Now don't get me wrong... I am not complaining! :D

[gigi]

Originally posted by Mike AI@Jun 17 2003, 08:37 AM
Fads come and go... I think most little girls who claim to be "Bi" are doing it to be cool, to get attention, yadda yadda yadda....

Now don't get me wrong... I am not complaining! :D
LOL Mike! I hear ya...not many men ARE complaining! hahaha

I totally agree that some girls are doing it for the attention and popularity associated with it. But even with a motivation such as that, it is pushing female bisexuality to the public more and more, which in turn is sure to affect public views in one way or another.

Then, for the 'legitimate' bisexual women (and men for that matter) there is polyamory and triads etc. etc....the acceptance of being with, and loving more than one person at a time (male or female) and your 'triad' relationships where 3 people are in one relationship together.

Will polyamory become more mainstream with the help of a new generation of bisexual women?

Only time will tell....

[susanna]

Originally posted by gigi@Jun 17 2003, 08:58 AM
Will polyamory become more mainstream with the help of a new generation of bisexual women?

Only time will tell....
Only if women are allowed to have 30 husbands ;o)

Gigi maybe the trend comes from the incessant fear mongering that goes on about safe sex. Young gals are becoming more aware of their own bodies and that it doesnt take a dick to pleasure yourself. Why risk unsafe sex when sex with another gal is just as exciting? especially if you never have been with a guy.

[susanna]

Oh I just had to add something more... with regard to male bisexuals... I seem to be a magnet for male bisexual men. With every guy I meet and have dated I have told them that I like bisexual men and all the sudden they come "out" and talk about how they are bisexual. It seems that they all had some sort of gay experience when they were younger and since they were also attracted to women they went on to be in relationships with women and then in their 30's start to think about sex with guys again.

I suspect that mmf or ffm relationships have been going on forever and a day but no one was open and proud of it before thats all.