Dollpix
11-18-2002, 01:50 PM
:rokk:
How to tell if you work for the government:
* You understand the rationalization of an acronym comprised of acronyms.
* You can name the project leader of more than 10 projects including your own, but still can't explain in the simplest terms what they do.
* You know that the location of a meeting is directly related to it's importance. (1) A meeting at Fort Hood requires a subordinate or a contractor. (2) The same meeting at Lake Tahoe requires your personal attention.
* You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym.
* You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.
* The process becomes more important than the product.
* You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.
* You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being there.
* You realize that a paperless office is impossible. Actually, you believe it is possible, just not in your office.
* You keep documents/manuals on projects that have been long since canceled.
* You stop raising issues/problems because you know you will be the one answering them.
* You fly across the country to attend a conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not have enough money.
* You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different agencies.
* Your name plate is attached with Velcro.
* Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
* The office symbol on your badge is applied with tape.
* When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
* You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
* Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you loose your best jokes.
* Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
* You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
* You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
* It's dark when you drive to and from work.
* Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
* Communication is something your group is having problems with.
* You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
* Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
* Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
* Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
* Art involves a white board.
* You're already late on the assignment you just got.
* You work 200 hours for the $100 performance check and jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!"
* Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
* Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed up," and "I have an opportunity for you."
* Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
* Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."
* Change is the norm.
* Nepotism is encouraged.
* The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures hang in your cube.
* You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
* You can name more people that used to work with you than people who do.
:agrin:
Last edited by Dollpix at Nov 18 2002, 11:00 AM
How to tell if you work for the government:
* You understand the rationalization of an acronym comprised of acronyms.
* You can name the project leader of more than 10 projects including your own, but still can't explain in the simplest terms what they do.
* You know that the location of a meeting is directly related to it's importance. (1) A meeting at Fort Hood requires a subordinate or a contractor. (2) The same meeting at Lake Tahoe requires your personal attention.
* You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym.
* You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.
* The process becomes more important than the product.
* You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.
* You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being there.
* You realize that a paperless office is impossible. Actually, you believe it is possible, just not in your office.
* You keep documents/manuals on projects that have been long since canceled.
* You stop raising issues/problems because you know you will be the one answering them.
* You fly across the country to attend a conference with 100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does not have enough money.
* You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different agencies.
* Your name plate is attached with Velcro.
* Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
* The office symbol on your badge is applied with tape.
* When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
* You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
* Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you loose your best jokes.
* Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
* You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
* You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
* It's dark when you drive to and from work.
* Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
* Communication is something your group is having problems with.
* You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
* Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
* Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
* Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
* Art involves a white board.
* You're already late on the assignment you just got.
* You work 200 hours for the $100 performance check and jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!"
* Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
* Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed up," and "I have an opportunity for you."
* Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
* Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."
* Change is the norm.
* Nepotism is encouraged.
* The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures hang in your cube.
* You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
* You can name more people that used to work with you than people who do.
:agrin:
Last edited by Dollpix at Nov 18 2002, 11:00 AM