The Elements Of Men And Women

[Dianna Vesta]

Scientists recently discovered two new chemical elements.

Here for the first time is a description of their properties.

Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (Don't even go there!)

Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.



Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180 +/-50)

Physical Properties: Solid at room temperatures, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source and good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.



DV: I think that abot sums it up! Comments from the peanut gallery?

[Almighty Colin]

Half life?

[Dianna Vesta]

Originally posted by Colin@Nov 13 2002, 12:07 PM
Half life?
I'm just not understanding you today Colin. Maybe it's the hang over but I don't get it.

[Almighty Colin]

Originally posted by Dianna Vesta+Nov 13 2002, 12:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Dianna Vesta @ Nov 13 2002, 12:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--Colin@Nov 13 2002, 12:07 PM
Half life?
I'm just not understanding you today Colin. Maybe it's the hang over but I don't get it.[/b][/quote]
http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=half-life

[Winetalk.com]

Originally posted by Colin+Nov 13 2002, 12:32 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Colin @ Nov 13 2002, 12:32 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>Originally posted by -Dianna Vesta@Nov 13 2002, 12:26 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--Colin@Nov 13 2002, 12:07 PM
Half life?
I'm just not understanding you today Colin. Maybe it's the hang over but I don't get it.
http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=half-life[/b][/quote]
Colin,
Brad Shaw's half life is about 10 months
;-)

excpet it's an insult to men to call him a man
;-)))

[Dianna Vesta]

Originally posted by Colin+Nov 13 2002, 12:32 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Colin @ Nov 13 2002, 12:32 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>Originally posted by -Dianna Vesta@Nov 13 2002, 12:26 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--Colin@Nov 13 2002, 12:07 PM
Half life?
I'm just not understanding you today Colin. Maybe it's the hang over but I don't get it.
http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=half-life[/b][/quote]
wow, I learned something new.

That's why i love Oprano-

The difference between men and boys- Oprano = men - GFY=boys

Thanks

[voodooman]

Dianna,

Im not sure who is more sexist, you or cleo.

:P :nyanya:

[Edd]

Originally posted by voodooman@Nov 13 2002, 12:58 PM
Dianna,

Im not sure who is more sexist, you or cleo.

:P :nyanya:
You're brave, Voodoo - calling a DomTop "sexist"... :o :zoinks:

[voodooman]

hahaha,

Truth hurts sometimes, but the main factor is, she is 2000 miles
away from me.

:D :yowsa:

[Dianna Vesta]

Originally posted by voodooman@Nov 13 2002, 12:58 PM
Dianna,

Im not sure who is more sexist, you or cleo.

:P :nyanya:
Shit head!

You wait, I'm going to get you. Aren't you coming to florida? Come find out baby!

:inlove:

[voodooman]

Originally posted by Dianna Vesta+Nov 13 2002, 01:10 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Dianna Vesta @ Nov 13 2002, 01:10 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--voodooman@Nov 13 2002, 12:58 PM
Dianna,

Im not sure who is more sexist, you or cleo.

:P :nyanya:
Shit head!

You wait, I'm going to get you. Aren't you coming to florida? Come find out baby!

:inlove:[/b][/quote]
hahaha,

fuck that, you think Im stupid?(dont answer that)

Im not going anywhere past the mississippi.

:nyanya: :bjump:

[Dianna Vesta]

Originally posted by voodooman+Nov 13 2002, 06:37 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (voodooman @ Nov 13 2002, 06:37 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>Originally posted by -Dianna Vesta@Nov 13 2002, 01:10 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--voodooman@Nov 13 2002, 12:58 PM
Dianna,

Im not sure who is more sexist, you or cleo.

:P :nyanya:
Shit head!

You wait, I'm going to get you. Aren't you coming to florida? Come find out baby!

:inlove:
hahaha,

fuck that, you think Im stupid?(dont answer that)

Im not going anywhere past the mississippi.

:nyanya: :bjump:[/b][/quote]
aww some on! I promise I won't hurt you.

You said you were coming. You've changed your mind?

:cdance:

[voodooman]

Ok Ok, Im not scared, I'll still cum, errr come.

:butt:

[Dianna Vesta]

Originally posted by voodooman@Nov 13 2002, 07:03 PM
Ok Ok, Im not scared, I'll still cum, errr come.

:butt:
Ya know.... you should try everything at least three times- The first two times may have been dependent on your mood or the moon. If by the third time you still hate it then it's a pretty good guess that it's not for you!

Besides honey you've got the wrong plumbing for me! You're real cute- let's be friends and hang out.

[Cal]

By studying some close ancestors to humans, they're currently saying that pretty soon the Y chromosone will become useless.

Something like 300 receptors on the Y chromosone are actually active, whereas the average on a chromosone is around 1500. Basically the chromosone is dying. However this doesn't mean we'll stop producing males of course. Other species have evolved away their Y chromosone equivalents, and used other strands of DNA to do the same job. I forget why we originally spawned this rogue chromosone, but it was at some point where we split with another species in the evolutionary chain.

I'll look it up later, don't have my magazines handy.

C.

[voodooman]

Originally posted by Dianna Vesta+Nov 13 2002, 07:08 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Dianna Vesta @ Nov 13 2002, 07:08 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--voodooman@Nov 13 2002, 07:03 PM
Ok Ok, Im not scared, I'll still cum, errr come.

:butt:
Ya know.... you should try everything at least three times- The first two times may have been dependent on your mood or the moon. If by the third time you still hate it then it's a pretty good guess that it's not for you!

Besides honey you've got the wrong plumbing for me! You're real cute- let's be friends and hang out.[/b][/quote]
Oh, your turning me down tooooooooooo.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

What is this damn world coming to? Its going to be all
lesbians before long.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
:steemed: :steemed:

[cj]

Originally posted by Cal@Nov 13 2002, 07:41 PM
By studying some close ancestors to humans, they're currently saying that pretty soon the Y chromosone will become useless.

Something like 300 receptors on the Y chromosone are actually active, whereas the average on a chromosone is around 1500. Basically the chromosone is dying. However this doesn't mean we'll stop producing males of course. Other species have evolved away their Y chromosone equivalents, and used other strands of DNA to do the same job. I forget why we originally spawned this rogue chromosone, but it was at some point where we split with another species in the evolutionary chain.

I'll look it up later, don't have my magazines handy.

C.
cal, so what your saying is men are going to become MORE useless?!!??
:blink:

[T-Rav]

haha...cj, that's a good one!

but we've been useless for a long time...at least that's what my wife tells me...

[cj]

This was just sent to me
7 & 9 are funny ;-)


The Good Housekeeping Way #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice
cream drips.

The Real Women's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You
are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #2
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.

The Real Women's Way
Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry
cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the
cake.

The Real Women's Way
The Cheese Cake Shop sells cakes. They even do decorated versions.

==================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #4
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
potato slice.

The Real Women's Way
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please
recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and
I don't care how bad it tastes."

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #5
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.

The Real Women's Way
I don't care if it could keep forever, I don't eat it!

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #6
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield beautiful
glossy finish.

The Real Women's Way
Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg whites over
the crust so I don't do that either.

================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #7
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your
forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Women's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 2 ounces of
tequila. Drink the Tequila. You might still have the headache, but at least
you will be too drunk to give a shit.

===============================

The Good Housekeeping Way #8
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Women's Way
Go ask mister tight arse cute legs, single neighbour to do it
for you.

================================

The Good Housekeeping Way #9
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in
casseroles and sauces.

The Real Women's Way
Leftover wine????? What leftover wine???????